Last night I dabbled and updated the blog somewhat. I may change the layout of some of it as I feel it’s time to update it.
I have found myself forever checking my inbox endlessly throughout the day, and I need to stop doing it.
I have distractions and other projects to work on, but this stage is more about a test of patience and preparation.
Guzzle the coffee – status: in progress
Open the laptop and wait for inspiration to kick in – status: pending
Hate hayfever for causing poor sleep – status: complete
Ponder over what to have for breakfast – status: pending
I’ve recently found an online tool which I’ve seen to be very useful for writing. It’s called Grammarly, and though it does play on your paranoia ever so slightly, it does work well.
Not only does it help with grammar and spelling, but I’ve also found it helps me think about what I’m writing and therefore makes me a stronger writer.
I have bought the premium subscription, but only because I feel it’s keeping me motivated to get the writing done (and more importantly I waited patiently for the 50% off email to come in), You can get by with the basic free version though.
It’s not perfect as it seems to want to add unnecessary commas so still have your wits about you.
If you’ve used it what do you think? Has it helped or hindered?
I don’t normally post about things external to the usual blogging topics but I feel I need to express my motions and motivations as it’ll probably affect my blog ongoing.
Today I found out my son’s primary school offer and was absolutely devastated. He got offered 3rd choice and that choice was pretty much a “hope it never comes to it” as there aren’t that many good schools in the area.
So here I am. I’ve cried all day and I had waited such a long time to even get to this point. I’m sick of feeling disappointment.
It should have been an exciting day.
I should have been celebrating with my children today.
I should have been looking up school uniforms and the next process today.
I should have been messaging everyone how happy we were.
But none of that happened.
It was a traumatic day.
I barely spoke to my eldest about the results.
I’ve spent the whole day fretting and feeling anxious and also like a bad parent for clearly aiming too high for a school, ironically thinking it was the safest option all around.
I am terrified for September and the whole process of appealing and waiting lists.
So I ask myself. What did I do wrong? How the hell are there 30 children in the same area of the same age who have preference over my eldest? what advantages did they have that ruled us out? I live 300 metres away!
I’m angry, irritated, frustrated, gutted, disappointed, worried, stressed, scared and now tired. I honestly didn’t see this coming. I had been bigging up his 1st and 2nd choice school for nearly 6 months and we drove past the school where he got an offer and he got upset and said he didn’t want to go there. More guilt on my part now.
I now have a fight on my hands, a lot more anxiety to come, more patience, more waiting around, more checking my emails every 5 minutes hoping something good will happen.
I feel like I’ve let my son down massively, not to mention his brother. I wish I could have offered more for them in terms of schools.
A lot of people have tried to reason with me today and as grateful as I am for the support I’m in no mood to be reasoned with. I am definitely not in that head space. My only glimpse of hope is that something better will come along – but that may only lead to more disappointment.
All in all, a very devastating start to the week. And my children’s future.
This is in no way an attack on those who chose my son’s offered school as a first choice and got accepted, this is purely disappointment on my husband and I’s part. If I can fight then I will. This is about ensuring our children get a good start by sending them to a school which we feel would help provide that.
What a lovely image to end the day with, beautiful sunset clouds over a blue sky. Perfect.
This post is simply an announcement of a big life choice. Ever since I was a teenager right up until I hit 30 I have been in, what I call, ‘pit stop’ jobs. Constantly.
The goal at the beginnimg was to just get some money and then try and figure out my passions and go from there. I would get to the point where the job would bore me then I’d move on. Unfortunately that viscous cycle continued for 15+ years. Some jobs I thought would help bring out the best in me only brought out the worst, others I hated but then fell in too deep and couldn’t find a way out.
Either way you looked at it, the problem was the wrong attitude searching for the dream job that would make me happy. So what if I had qualifications in IT or I was a supervisor in the catering industry previously? What mattered should not have been driven by money which it was for such a very long time. It should have been finding what makes me tick, what makes me happy outside of work, what my dreams were and living life that way.
Instead it was not. I am a full time mum for now and when I’m done having more of the little blighters I will be returning to work. Something that for a long time has been pushed to the back of mind as the mere idea of going back to IT terrified me, has recently changed.
Because I choose to not go down that path again. It dawned on me in recent weeks that if I don’t want to get any old job just to help pay the bills then I won’t. If I want to continue with my writing then I should go and look for related work there. Not in IT, not in bakery, not in that bar job down the road as that’s the only place who will hire me. I choose to look out for my future happiness in my career and nothing has pleased me more than writing my projects and blogging to the world about their progress.
I look back on my career and wish I wasn’t so stressed out by the office politics, I wish I wouldn’t have been petty or pedantic but I am so lucky to be in this position today.
I had to share this on my blog as it’s shifted my perspective somewhat and now the thought of going to find work excites me. I know I previously signed up for freelance work but the truth is I cannot dedicate much time to it and as a result I’ve not continued down that path. I would rather wait until I’m in a better routine with my ‘work’ hours. A couple of hours every evening is not enough for me to achieve work happiness. It’s going to be a long haul before I get there…but I know I will get there one day with my new attitude.
I love the winter evenings and mornings. The sky just has so much rich colour.
Due to some bugs in my house I’m not writing tonight. When I say bugs I don’t mean bugs bunny but the virusy-cold type ones!
I will move my 3rd project goal to next Sunday instead. Keep it easy, achievable and simple.
Yes I realise I’m able to blog but my story writing head is just not in it tonight – sorry folks!
It’s a bit of a writing update in a way but I’ve not progressed on my 3rd project this week. I recently discovered the TV show ‘Parks and Recreation’ and have been binge watching it once my children are in bed.
Sunday’s are my most productive days for writing so I will aim for some sort of sitting-at the-laptop-and-creating-my-magic- work tomorrow.